I sat and read this quote and wrote it down last night before I went to bed, I woke up this morning to Jada.
" Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart... try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. " - Rainer Maria Rilke
I've been spending more time reading, processing, and freeing myself. Trying to discover, accept, and embrace who I was meant to be. I don't mean that I've been pretending, but I do think that to really be who we were made to be, we need to extremely vulnerable, we need to be more open and exposed than we think that we can handle, and we need to try new things, big or small.
We need to be willing to make mistakes, however I think that you will find that if you listen , if you are open you will actually make less mistakes than when you thought that you were playing it safe.
My scarves are also pushing me, asking me to leave my safe comfortable space. Always asking for new materials, new techniques, not allowing me to stay in the safe place where I know that it will work.
One of my yoga instructors requested that I make a scarf for her with snaps, I thought sure no problem. I sat down and worked on one three weeks ago, but it wasn't right, it was forced, I didn't listen, and so it sits unfinished in my studio. Six months ago I would have forced it to be finished, I would not have stopped and acknowledged that I didn't listen, I would have just moved on.
But I'm learning to listen. I'm learning to start over if I need to. So weeks went by and I still hadn't made my yoga instructor her scarf. It is now one day before I leave for Europe, so I was thinking that I should get this piece finished.
I woke up this morning with an idea. I was a bit uneasy, it was a totally new design, new materials, but I didn't feel like I had a choice, it was ready to come out.
And it had to come out this morning. So packing was pushed aside.
And so I sat and I wove. The weaving process was over before I even knew that I had started. Now it was time to add the leather ( I randomly picked up some pieces of leather a few days ago) . I cut the pieces and sewed them on, I was really having fun at this point. And finally the snaps were added and I tried the piece on.
It turns out that I had " gradually, without noticing it, lived along some distant day into the answer." And the scarf was complete.